Oh what a wild August it will be in Llanview. The catfights between Blair and Tea only get more heated once Todd embarrasses Blair at Viki’s and Nora’s weddings by declaring his love publicly for Tea. Now that Tea’s got Todd in the bag, she can completely focus on winning Matthew’s case, right? Except that some hot shot attorney named Elijah has been brought in by Nora and Bo and he knows something about Tea that she doesn’t want know.

Loose lips sink ships, and Tea’s going to regret telling Blair she had a deep, dark secret because Blair decides to find out what it is in hopes of using it against her. So Blair hires Rex to dig around in Tea’s past but the trail goes cold once Tea was rescued from the island with Ross. Blair, being the crafty southern vixen that she is, decides to pick up from there and goes out in search of the long missing Ross. What do you think Tea’s big secret is?

Speaking of Blair, did we mention that she and Dorian are at the center of what will surely be the most surreal, amazing, fantastic “One Life to Live” episode in history? “OLTL” is doing a homage to the cult classic documentary “Grey Gardens” (which is about Jackie O’s eccentric cousin and aunt who live with about 90 cats in a dilapidated mansion), with Dorian and Blair taking on the roles of the film’s stars, “Big” and “Little” Edie Beale. Expect singing, dancing and and some really extreme fashion statements. Catch a preview of it here.