In a Word: Matt's journal sparks a few walks down memory lane, and reveals some new secrets. More old-timers split, and one returns. But who are all these people?
The Action: The Billy-Jennifer-Sam-Jeff love quadrangle blows up. Sam gets bored with Jeff, but Billy and Jen are going strong. Sam finds out that Alison is having professional problems and is drinking again in Atlanta, and schemes to pry Billy away from Jen by making it look like Alison wants him back. (Huh?) Jeff breaks up with Sam and takes a job as a sports radio host in Florida. Eventually Billy and Jen move to Italy, and Sam proposes to Jeff on the air. Say bye-bye to them all.
Amanda divorces Kyle and marries Rory, who's a bastard and poisons her when she won't give him a share of Amanda Woodward Advertising. Kyle comes to the rescue, and Rory dies in the scuffle. Peter still wants Amanda back, however, and he arranges for her to be kidnapped so HE can be her hero. But Amanda eventually remarries Kyle. After Matt is killed in a car accident, his mom gives Amanda his journal full of secrets about the MP gang. Amanda rips out a page — what's on it? Probably some stuff about this chick Eve Cleary, a singer who shows up in town. She gets fired from the jazz club by Kyle and then hit by a car. Peter helps Eve recover, and Amanda talks Kyle into letting Eve try again at the club. It turns out that Eve and Amanda were friends in high school, and Eve's jock boyfriend Kent tried to rape Amanda. So Eve pushed him off the bleachers to his death and spent 20 years in jail for her trouble. Peter hooks up with Eve, but her past finally comes out. Still, after a whole lot of stuff happens, they get married. Oil is found on his family's land, and it makes him and Eve rich (but not happy). Peter uses his money to buy the hospital. Eve buys half the jazz club with her dough.
Megan and Brett (aka Coop) are still together, but her whole ex-hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold thing goes too far when she finds out that Lexi's been set up by her dead dad to take the fall in an embezzlement scheme. Lexi needs to come up with $5 mil or be arrested. Megan knows about that term in Lexi's dad's will, that Brett will get $10 mil if he remarries Lexi within a year. So Megan talks him into remarrying Lexi to save her from jail. Lexi takes this remarriage of convenience seriously, which bums Megan out. But Brett still hates Lexi and is very unhappy about Lexi pushing herself on him (which doesn't stop him from sleeping with her). When Lexi runs amok and buys an expensive sailboat, Brett plots to kill her by pushing her off the boat. Megan can't go along with this and stops him. Then Brett blames Megan for his misery because she made him remarry Lexi. He splits and takes that job offer from last season in Philly.
Taylor tries to kill herself. But she learns Michael, not Kyle, is the baby's father, and moves in with Michael. He's not thrilled at being a dad but gets used to the idea. At a college reunion in Chicago, he runs into Jane. She comes back to L.A. and they rekindle their thing. Jane's bummed about the Taylor sitch, but she rents an apartment at Melrose Place anyway. Taylor asks Jane and Michael to adopt her baby because she's not fit to be a mom. They agree. But when Taylor has the baby, Michael Jr., she changes her mind and moves back to Boston alone. See ya, Taylor! Jane gets a job with Amanda. Then there's a whole thing with Jane and this old flame Alex, who plots to do business with AWA so he can get close to Jane again. But she likes Michael, not Alex, and remarries Michael. But Michael is jealous over the Alex thing, and during the reception he and Megan get drunk and make out on the Melrose Place roof. Which collapses (darn termites!), so they get caught. And, boy, is there drama after that. Jane splits up with Michael and buys the beach house. At least Peter lets him keep his job.
Amanda finds out about Peter's fake kidnapping plot and isn't impressed. Then she decides she wants a baby, but Kyle is mistakenly told he's sterile. Amanda becomes friends with Peter and Eve again, and Kyle gets the crazy idea that Amanda's making it with Peter. Angry Kyle ends up burning down his and Amanda's dream house and attacking Amanda, who's actually pregnant with his child. She loses the baby, but then Kyle finds out he's NOT sterile and the baby was his. All is forgiven between Kyle and Amanda. But Amanda has to sell the apartment complex. She starts working a lot, and Kyle joins the construction crew rebuilding their house. Then he helps Jane out with her beach house too. Later Kyle ends up staying at Jane's when the road to his place washes out.
Matt's journal is more trouble than it's worth, so Amanda burns it (including the missing page). But not before learning from the diary that Kyle has a brother named Ryan McBride, and they don't get along. She talks Kyle into making up with his bro, who comes to town and gets a job at AWA. For a minute, Amanda thinks Ryan leaked info to Lexi's competing ad agency, but it was really Amanda's assistant. Ryan falls for Megan, even after he finds out she used to be a hooker. But their relationship is bumpy. He sleeps with Lexi, even though Kyle tells him not to go there. Ryan eventually proposes to Megan, then leaves town to visit his young daughter, Sarah. He comes back to L.A. and pushes away both Megan and Lexi. Turns out Ryan was married a long time ago. After a car accident, Ryan saved Sarah but couldn't save his wife. So he promised Sarah he'd never remarry.
Lexi tries to steal a magazine's businesswoman of the year award from Amanda by sleeping with the editor. This backfires: Amanda wins and publicly mocks Lexi. Lexi becomes scheming, drunk, and desperate on a regular basis. She gives up on Peter and wants Megan to find her the perfect mate. Megan uses a computer program and learns that Ryan is Lexi's perfect mate. Ryan thinks Megan's secret search for Lexi's perfect mate means she's hooking again, so she eventually has to tell him what she's up to. Then Lexi finds out that Ryan is her match. Eventually she buys the apartment complex when Amanda puts it up for sale. Ryan sleeps with Lexi but wants to get back with Megan. So Michael and Lexi hook up, because they're perfect for each other. Michael and Lexi find out about Ryan's daughter, Sarah, and eventually let Megan in on the secret. Sarah's guardian, Terry O'Brien, fights Ryan for custody of Sarah, who shows up in L.A. He gets his daughter back, but Terry is into him. He brushes her off and proposes to Megan. So Terry kidnaps Sarah and runs off. She crashes into a pole, but the airbags deploy, so they're all right. She gives up Sarah, and all is forgiven.
Amanda pimps out Eve to millionaire client Tony Marlin. (Never mind about Peter, Eve's hubby.) She makes Eve the spokeswoman for Tony's cruise line, and she keeps Peter busy during a Hawaiian cruise/commercial shoot, so Tony can put the moves on Eve. Amanda also breaks up with Kyle for good, so Kyle and Jane hook up. Jane is pregnant, but the baby is Michael's. Jane wants to bail on Kyle, but he stops her, and they decide to raise the kid as their own. Eve, meanwhile, is not having this whole Tony thing. She ends her friendship with Amanda. But Amanda and Peter get back together, so whatever. Amanda loses Tony's account and closes her agency; Eve loses Peter and flips right out. She plots revenge. Lexi steals Tony's account and sleeps with him. But Tony dies in Lexi's bed — oops. Michael helps her take the body back to Tony's mansion, so she won't have to deal with the cops.
Then things really get weird when Lexi helps Eve remember that she didn't really kill Kent, her high school jock boyfriend who supposedly raped Amanda. Amanda killed him and tricked Eve into taking the blame (that must've been some sales pitch!). Amanda tells Peter she did kill Kent, but it was self-defense. Lexi wants to tell the cops about all this, but Eve plans to kill Amanda and Peter, so she claims her "memories" were just fantasies. Meanwhile, Peter gets fingered for embezzlement. Eve kidnaps Lexi, and later Michael, and stashes them in a bathtub. Amanda confesses to killing Kent. But she and Peter have a plan: They fake their own deaths, with a little help from Michael (who gets a million bucks, and the chief of staff job, to help them set it up). A&P go to a cabin in the woods, and it blows up as the cops and Michael close in. Eve is sent back to jail for kidnapping Michael and Lexi — but first she dumps Peter's fake ashes on Lexi at Amanda and Peter's funeral. Cough! Kyle opens a package to find a necklace Amanda always wore, and we see the devious lovebirds get married in a lovely tropical setting. The END!
Our Take: This ending was almost as wacky as that season of "Dallas" that was all just Pam Ewing's dream.
Your Take: Is it right that the evil Amanda and Peter got away with all their crimes?