In a Word: Melrose Place empties out as we say goodbye to a lot of people we know. And say hello to some more we're not sure we want to know.
The Action: Syd is dead. Craig goes from groom to widower in a stopped heartbeat. He wants to get revenge by killing Samantha, but he can't go through with it. He sleeps with Jennifer, but just for kicks. Craig needs a guy friend, so he tries to patch things up with Billy — until he finds out Billy's working with Amanda to ruin D&D. Syd's dad arrives and gives Craig all of Syd's life insurance money. Sweet! Now Craig can be a man of leisure. But he doesn't stick to that plan and ends up tangled in a crazy investment/revenge scheme involving Michael, Jennifer, and this new doctor named Brett Cooper (aka Coop). The nuttiness of that whole drama has Craig trying to kill Jen, who's saved by Billy. But Craig takes her car, drives to the desert, and kills himself because he can't live without Syd.
Matt gets a job at an AIDS clinic and moves to San Francisco with his niece/ward Chelsea. Bye, Matt.
Amanda returns to her old scheming self. She gets Eric, her former boss from New York, to help her with her new agency, Amanda Woodward Advertising. Eric moves to L.A., which bugs Kyle and makes Amanda suspicious. And Eric is doing shady real estate deals that affect Kyle and Taylor, and Amanda and Kyle. He plans to use them to make Amanda sleep with him. But before that drama gets going, Amanda brings down D&D with AWA, and then taunts Eric about his feelings for her because she doesn't love him back. She later agrees to sleep with him to save her agency, but doesn't really do it. Kyle still storms off. Amanda and Sam get into a helicopter crash while traveling on business, and Amanda breaks her back. She gets better and Kyle comes back. They get engaged.
But Kyle is a wreck. He's slept with the constantly scheming Taylor again and has a drinking problem. He also has nightmares about a woman named Christine, his lover from the Gulf War, who died. Taylor and Nick hatch a gnarly plan to convince Kyle that Christine is still alive (so Kyle won't marry Amanda, and Nick can get hold of the jazz club). They hire an old girlfriend of Nick's to pretend to be Christine, and she comes to L.A. for Amanda and Kyle's wedding. Kyle doesn't show at the altar because he thinks Christine is trying to kill herself, and he has to save her. Amanda believes Christine is lying and dares her to commit suicide. The fake Christine wants to bail on the scam, but ends up dying in a scuffle with Nick. The devious duo put her body on the train tracks, and Amanda is totally wrecked when Christine appears to have actually thrown herself under a train. Amanda pushes Kyle away and starts dating this guy called Rory Blake, who proposes to her. Amanda plans to divorce Kyle.
Peter pretends he wants to marry Taylor but just uses the wedding to mock her and tell her he knows she isn't pregnant. Taylor says she is too pregnant, and the baby is Kyle's. But she's not pregnant, so she accosts Michael and tells him, "I need your sperm!" Still doesn't get pregnant. She tries to blackmail Amanda into sleeping with Eric, and then tricks Amanda into giving up her share of the jazz club. Later she fakes out Kyle into thinking money was stolen from the club and they have to go to Vegas to win more. She acts like she won back the money and sleeps with him. After the scheme with Nick and the fake Christine blows up, Nick thinks Taylor will confess and tries to kill her. Michael saves her and convinces Nick that Taylor died. This creates confusion when Nick apologizes to Kyle for killing Taylor, but Taylor pretends it's a joke. Then she gets pregnant for real, at last! And Michael is the dad.
Dr. Brett Cooper rents Matt's old place. He visits Kimberly's grave and vows revenge on Michael. Coop becomes a partner in Michael and Peter's private practice. Kimberly's mom warns Coop not to mess with Michael, but Coop has a plan to ruin him. See, he had an affair with Kimberly after she came out of her first coma, in Ohio. Anyway, Coop has this idea for a surgical cauterizing glove, and Michael steals it (just like Coop planned). Coop sues Michael for stealing his idea, and then he sets up Michael to make passes at Dr. Shulman by sending Michael notes on her stationery. It works like a charm, and Michael's demoted from chief of staff. Later, Coop gets Michael booted out of the practice when Michael's stripper girlfriend, Amber, gets drunk and acts the fool at a party.
We also meet Lexi Sterling, Brett's ex-wife, who shows up and falls for Peter. They eventually move in together. She's hooked on pills, so you know there's at least one overdose in her future. Lexi's dad arrives, and he doesn't like Peter. Just to be a jerk, he makes her and Brett business partners. Then Peter argues with her dad, and daddy dies. She blames Peter but takes him back.
Someone starts taunting Michael by leaving reminders of Kimberly all over the place. He confronts Coop, who punches Michael and has him arrested. The stalker shoots at Michael — it's Kimberly's mom (we guess she told Coop to stay away from Michael so she could mess with him herself). She tries to slash Michael with a scalpel but gets his wife Megan instead. And that stripper GF of Michael's, Amber? She ends up taking all his stuff, and Michael gets busted for tearing up a strip club trying to find her. Later he opens a clinic in a bad neighborhood to make money. One of his shady clients dies and leaves Michael a locker full of cash. Megan talks him into donating it to a church. Later he sells the clinic to the same church. Then he finds out he's Taylor's baby daddy but tells her it's Nick's. And he gets back into the practice through some underhanded stuff.
Megan learns about Coop's connection to Kimberly, but she ends up liking him, because he takes care of her after she goes into a coma during surgery for the slashing Kimberly's crazy mom gave her. She plans to divorce Michael. After the usual jealousies and misunderstandings, they end up engaged. Coop really digs Megan — when he finds out that Lexi's dad had a term in his will that will give Coop $10 mil if he remarries Lexi within a year, he urges Peter to keep Lexi happy and tells Megan he's going for a great job in Philadelphia so they can move out of town. But he doesn't take the Philly job, because the interviewer finds out Megan used to be a hooker and demands she sleep with him before Coop can have the gig.
Billy and Sam have some love-life back and forth, but they finally get married. Sam starts working at D&D, and then there's more drama involving Sam's friend Connie, who tries to seduce Billy. But she actually wants — Sam! After Sam survives that helicopter crash with Amanda, Billy gets Connie to confess what she's been up to — and Sam forgives her. Later, Billy becomes jealous of Sam liking this D&D baseball-player client, Jeff. So he helps Jen, who told her mom she was engaged to now-dead Craig, by pretending to be Craig. This lie eventually comes out, but Billy really falls for Jen and ends up sleeping with her. He tries to make it work with Sam, but she's pushing Jen toward Billy because she digs Jeff. But when Jeff proposes marriage, Sam's not thrilled to learn his family thinks they're already engaged. Sam catches Jen and Billy kissing and sleeps with Billy. But she goes back to Jeff.
Our Take: Michael is a busy bastard this season. We're not sure he deserves all the drama, but we're not all that happy that he ends up back on top.
Your Take: OK, we know this show isn't famous for its realism, but is it a bit much when Taylor and Nick are actually able to pass off another woman as Kyle's ex-LOVER?