There's a new man in Bree's life. But is Orson Hodge a loving husband or a cold-blooded killer? Mike's in a coma, and Susan falls for a guy she meets in the hospital waiting room, opening the door for Edie, who tricks the amnesiac Mike (who does wake up ... eventually) into thinking she's his one true love. Lynnette tries to welcome Tom's daughter Kayla to the family, but the girl's mom, Nora, sabotages her. And Gabrielle and Carlos get divorced, just in time to welcome their new child (carried by their maid, Xiao-Mei) into the world. Except the kid is clearly not their baby. Season 3 piles on the soap bubbles, but brings back the creepiness.
Bree wants to rebuild the delicate fiction of her perfect life. She starts by marrying Orson. Too bad the cops drop in on the reception. They've found a body, and the cops think it might be Orson's ex-wife, Alma. Everyone starts to wonder about Orson, but Bree's not about to let a dead woman get in the way of her Bermuda honeymoon. Then her son Andrew resurfaces. He's been turning tricks, and Bree cuts the trip short to rescue him, but he wants nothing to do with her. When he meets Orson, the two hit it off (they have a lot in common ... like sociopathic rage!). But this vision of a happy family doesn't last: Alma's sister Carolyn arrives and tells Bree what a monster Orson really is.
Meanwhile, the cops ID the body as Monique Pollier -- and find a telltale phone number written on her wrist. The law moves in on the usual suspect, Mike Delfino. Poor Mike: no memories for half the season, a sham affair with Edie, and a murder rap. Good thing Susan cut Mike out of her life. Now she's with Ian, the guy she met while they were both nursing their SOs in the hospital. After Ian's wife dies, and Mike runs off with Edie, why not get married? Even after Mike gets his wits back and returns to Susan, she chooses Ian. But Ian sees that Susan truly loves Mike and hops the first plane back to England.
Lynette will do anything to keep Nora away from Tom -- even set Nora up with Carlos. But Nora keeps coming after Lynette's man. When Tom decides to open a pizza parlor, Nora uses Lynette's doubts about the scheme to tear the marriage apart. But the women come to peace (sorta) when Carolyn goes postal at the grocery store and shoots Nora. Lynette promises the dying Nora she'll care for Kayla as her own. If only it were that easy: Kayla hates her. The pizzeria is destroying their marriage, and Lynette ends the season with lymphoma.
Gabrielle and Carlos sink so low, even they become disgusted with themselves. Childless, divorced, and miserable, they destroy everything in their paths for a chance at new relationships. Gabrielle mentors pageant hopefuls and goes after one girl's dad. And Carlos starts a twisted affair with Edie. By season's end, Gabrielle thinks she's found true love in mayoral candidate Victor Lang. But Gaby -- can't you see he's only marrying you to nail down the Latino vote?
What do you think? Did Orson Hodge and his mysterious past reignite the show?