ABC

You HAVE to watch "All My Children" this week. We're serious. Insane amounts of things happen. This is not just any "you can't miss" shpiel. We're so so so so serious. It's like someone took drama, threw it in a blender, and then stuck it in a Tilt-a-Whirl.

So when we say serious, we're deadly serious. Because someone is going to die next week! After another tornado touches down on Monday---worse than the one that hit on Friday---things go from very bad to downright apocalyptic. And it costs someone their life.

There are way too many other things going on for us to do anything but bullet point them, and let you see the fallout for yourself:

*Zach (Thorsten Kaye) finds Bianca (Eden Riegel) in the rubble of the beach house and she's seven and a half months pregnant. Given that it's the middle of a disaster zone, Bianca naturally goes into labor and Zach helps deliver a little girl. Which he sort of should have been obligated to do, given he's the father.