42. Don't take the plea bargain.

43. Your king-high flush is not going to hold up, so don't bet your brand-new car.

44. Parenting is pretty easy, affordable and you really don't spend that much time with your kid anyway. Except when your kid has a drug problem. Then it takes center stage.

45. Orphans are tough at first, but eventually sweet and very grateful.

46. If you start to hear weepy, indie produced ballads, it's time to learn something about yourself.

47. If you are not capable of witty banter -- you should at least work a "sexy awkward manchild" angle.

48. You like sports. Without question.

49. Date everyone at work. Especially during November Sweeps.

50. Try not to drive or take planes. If we see you get into the vehicle, you're going to crash.