32. Do tell your fiancee about your former wives. She's gonna find out and it's best it comes from you and not from her -- at your next wedding.

33. Know how to properly wrap and tie a towel around your waist after showering.

34. By all means, accidentally call out a former girlfriend's name during sex/sleep.

35. Always stand up to your boss/"the man." This will earn you nothing but begrudging respect.

36. If you get a headache, seek a brain surgeon; if you start to cough, find an oncologist.

37. If you aren't actually from the OC, lie and say you are. They don't take kindly to the new kid.

38. Don't worry: it's your father's fault.

39. Don't believe your daughter when she tells you she's sleeping over at a friend's. She'll be across state lines by midnight.

40. Keep a deck of cards in your wine cellar or (if applicable) meat locker. Sooner or later, you're getting locked in.

41. Try to make sure you're sleeping with your wife and not her twin sister. Seriously, triple-check.